Sausages

I originally read about this game on the fracture forum, which is in itself an excellent time wasting device. The premise is simple: Construct 'sausage links' of conjoined band names e.g.

• Pearl JamiroQuiet Riot (Pearl Jam, Jamiroquai, Quiet Riot)

The above example would score three points for three band names, as would:

• FugaZiZTopLoader (Fugazi, ZZ Top, Top Loader)

• MetalliCataTone Loc (Metallica, Catatonia, Tone Loc)

• Ben Folds Five Star Sailor (Ben Folds 5, 5 Star, Star Sailor)

It's also considered when acceptable playing amongst friends to take one player's sausage and then 'trump' it. For example in an early rubber, I played:

• Queens of the Stone Temple of The Dogstar (Queens of the Stone Age, Stone Temple Pilots, Temple of the Dog, Dog Star)

A four pointer, from which Celene created:

• New Bomb The BayC ity Rolling Stone Temple of the Dog eat Dogstar (New Bomb Turks, Bomb the Bass, The Bay City Rollers, The Rolling Stones, Stone Temple Pilots, Temple of the Dog, Dog Eat Dog, Dog Star)

A quite fantastic eight! Unfortunately this emphasis on creating the longest link possible can lead to underhand practises, as demonstrated in this example from an unnamed source:

• jools holland and his rhythm and blues traveller and in motion blu mar tender trap-P funk all starsaigon kick angel dust brothers and sister sleater kinobi project xzibit machine head factor e-rykah bad boys incubus stop boys town gangstar babes in toyah wilcorrs (jools holland, blues traveller, traveller and in motion, motion blue, blu mar ten, tender trap, trapp, p funk all stars, starsailor, saigon kick, kick angel, angel dust, dust brothers, brothers and sisters, sister sledge, sleater kinney, kinobe, obi project, project x, xzibit, bit machine, machine head, head factor, factor e, erykah badu, bad boys inc, incubus, bus stop boys, boys town gang, gangstarr, tar babies, babes in toyland, toyah wilcox, wilco, the corrs)

Which would technically score thirty six points. However it soon came to light that the player in question had made use of the HMV (UK music retailer) website to find bands with similar sounding names. This is considered contrary to the spirit of the game and rather unsporting. Furthermore it raised the issue of whether the point of the game was simply to create the longest link. Sausages is a parlour game in the classic sense and it is now generally accepted that the object is to form links of quality, not just quantity. The emphasis should be on creating links from one's own knowledge of music, maintaining as much as possible the integrity of each link. For example:

• Boney Eminem People (Boney M, Eminem, M People)

This contains every syllable of the component artists.

Anyway there are no hard and fast rules as to how the game of sausages should be played. The general concept is to waste some time and have a few laughs. Add to the fun by adopting a playing 'handle', such as:

• Mos Def Leppard (Mos Def, Def Leppard; my usual pseudonym)

• Nat King Cole Portishead (Nat King Cole, Cole Porter, Portishead)

• Nuclear AsSault and Pepa (Nuclear Assault, Salt and Pepa; if you're playing as a team)

You should by now be able to work out the origins of these names.

By Mos Def Leppard:

• Godspeed You Black SabBathory
• Cheap TRick AstLeanne Rhymes
• Oxide and NeutriNo Means NoboDies Krupps
• Leather Face to FAce Frehley
• DOAFEye Hate GodHead Swim
• Ella FitzGuycalled Gerald
• At The Drive Inside Out here Brothers
• Led ZeppeLindisfArno Corps (for Mike)

By Jam Master Jamie

• millivanilla ice T bone thugs and sebastian bachmannfred man turner overdrive like jehu the damaja

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