The man behind the deli-counter thinks we’re here for St Patrick’s Day, ‘You came for the parade?’ he asks. I tell him we missed it. Anyone who’s been to the USA from the UK will be used to having their accent misidentified, so the deli-guy’s assertion that I’m Irish is no stranger than that of the girl at the hotel who insisted on addressing me in German, or the homeless fellow who repeatedly asked if I was absolutely sure that I was not Australian (I failed to convince him on that account unfortunately). The man behind the counter looks perplexed; it’s the morning after St Patrick’s Day in New York and much of the day’s trade has yet to finish last night’s drinking, let alone reach hangover stage. He looks over my shoulder at my brother and then I realise why he’s unconvinced by my answer - my brother is wearing an emerald green beanie. The man behind the counter smiles again. He mustn’t be able to read the wording across my brother’s brow from back there. If he could he would have seen that it reads not ‘These Irish Eyes Are Smiling’, nor some Gaelic motto, but ‘Royal Marine Commandos’.

 

My brother first started talking about joining the forces when he finished college at the age of 18. He had always struggled academically, and for a long time had suffered from low self-esteem, due in no small part to the taunts he received concerning his weight from both schoolmates, and I’m ashamed to say, from his older brother.  He began working for a flight consolidator, selling cheap airline tickets over the phone. During this time he shed the puppy fat, and began to develop himself socially, though with me at university and him very much ‘one of the lads’ we grew increasingly apart. He first considered the Army – the principal reason (it appeared to me) being the opportunity to ‘see the world.’ Imagine, everyday selling aeroplane tickets to exotic locations whilst you sit behind your desk in a dull office in an even  duller East-Midlands town. Not hard to see the appeal of postings in Belize or Canada. My initial reaction to this was not enthusiastic to say the least. I was at my angriest back then, before age and illness mellowed me, being as I was downright belligerent and didactic whereas now I might be considered merely awkward and argumentative. Anyway my anti-imperialist ranting did nothing to dissuade his interest in a military career, but he decided to put things on hold for a while. He began working in a ‘proper’ high street travel agent, and his yearning to travel was sated somewhat by numerous bargain priced jaunts around Europe. We even went out to Toronto for a week long break after I came out of hospital. We were becoming closer as brothers than we ever had been before, and David seemed happier than I’d ever known him to be. He was in fantastic shape; he ran the Great North Run to raise money for Leukaemia Research, jogged and lifted weights every day, swam frequently and ate well. It was during this time that he declared his intention to join the Royal Marine Commandos. Why the marines? Well it’s a lot, lot harder to be in the marines than the regular army. The training regimen includes gruelling 30 mile ’yomps’ in full kit with rifle, survival exercises that cause the marines’ body temperatures to drop by over 5 degrees and all manner of painful sounding runs, marches, assault courses and other such activities. I  guess he wanted to prove that he could do something difficult, something that he could do well. God knows I couldn’t do it, politics aside I can barely run to the end of the street without losing my breath, and I have an acute disliking of coldness, wetness, and close proximity to sharp objects, exploding things and moustachioed men who shout a lot.

 

So how am I supposed to view my Brother’s impending enlistment? Can my pride in his achievement of passing their arduous induction camp tests co-exist with my disapproval of much of this country’s foreign policy? How easy would it be for me to criticise NATO actions in the Balkans if its my own brother performing these very tasks? It’s easy to demonise the uniformed, be they Police, Prison Service, or Paratroopers, to see them as a gestalt entity, that moves and thinks as one. You may argue that this is only right, that by joining such a body, one does surrender individual concern, and must therefore accept the responsibilities of the whole. My brother is not interested in politics, and as a marine he will have to obey commands without question, (unless of course they were to contravene say basic human rights or war crimes conventions) as like it or not a chain of command can only function properly in such a  manner. When an organisation has the right to detain, arrest, kill or wound, component parts cannot act with complete autonomy, independence or individual intent. He has surrendered the right to act in his interests, to the duty to act in the military’s interests, which in turn acts ostensibly in ours (and I stress greatly the word ‘ostensibly’).

 

Of course is not that simple though is it? My brother doesn’t expect me to give up my right to criticise the futile and inhumane bombing of Iraq, any more than I expect him to adopt my personal belief system and leave the marines. My concerns about him joining the armed forces are far more to do with his personal safety, than his collusion in what I may consider to be immoral or even illegal actions. For example: As a recovered Leukaemia patient I’m obviously concerned about his potential exposure to DU (Depleted Uranium) as used in tank shells and so on. That’s not to say I’m any less concerned about DU rounds poisoning the battlefields of Southern Iraq, quite the contrary, in fact with a personal involvement in the military I’m now even more committed to pacifism and the oxymoron that is ‘more humane warfare’. Likewise my worries about the MOD pumping him full of drugs, as practised upon Alliance troops during the Gulf War, do not detract from my belief that the conflict should never have occurred in the first place. If anything it is strengthened by it.

 

I was thinking about these things a lot whilst we were in New York. We’d gone, not for St Patrick’s Day as I mentioned before, but for my brother’s 21st birthday. On his special day, we visited the USS Intrepid, a decommissioned Nimitz class aircraft carrier moored in the Hudson Riverk, off Manhattan’s West-side. A relic of the cold war era, it had served in WW2 and Vietnam, and had even been responsible for recovering the astronaut capsules from the Apollo missions. It now serves as a Sea Air and Space museum, and even boasts among its exhibits an SR71 Blackbird reconnaissance plane (from the audioguide: ‘How accurate was its camera? What missions did the CIA pilots who flew this plane undertake? We may never know’). Amongst the cinematic technofetishism of F14 ‘as featured in Top Gun’ Tomcats, and Air Cavalry Bell Huey helicopters (Apocalypse Now), it was easy to forget that these amazing machines, this immense piece of engineering, were entities of policies I fundamentally disagree with. I am fascinated by enormous constructs such as aircraft carriers. I have such a poor mind for science that I can view their ability to even float, let alone launch aeroplanes, as something so incomprehensible as to be almost paranormal. Yet their role has for the most part been to enforce policies and practises that I don’t support upon other people with deadly force. Of course the USS Intrepid was never going to be a place for reasoned post-cold war analysis; I found the exhibitions’ occasionally jingoistic anti-Communist rhetoric amusing rather than pernicious, but then I’m not an impressionable youngster, who may be about to sign up to serve a military and a government whose intentions he doesn’t fully understand. As we left the Intrepid, I talked with my brother about what we’d seen that day, and what he may have to see a lot closer up in the future. I was heartened to hear him say that he had found the commie-bashing a little silly, and that he had no desire to kill foreign types just for the sake of it. I said we could talk about anything he’s unsure about. I guess that’s the most important thing, being able to talk about it, no matter how different our life choices may be.

 

By the way – Catering at the USS Intrepid Sea Air Space Museum is provided exclusively by McDonald’s. Please feel free to make of that whatever allusions, conclusions and allegories you will.

 

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